Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Losing Touch
I feel like I am losing touch with nature right now, I am way too caught up with my life, I can't wait until I have time to give back to the Earth. Don't worry, Huntington Beach Wetlands here I come in the next coming up month!
Friendship first
Friendships are like boy/girlfriend relationships. In both cases, there's a sense of mutualism and there needs to be a common ground of interest. My past experience with my ex has made me realize that infatuation is not enough to drive a long lasting relationship, but instead it is the ability to understand each other, share common interest and respecting each other that drives a long lasting relationship. I feel like a relationship is like a long-lasting friendship with physical attraction. If I had been friends with my ex and have gotten to know what is really is like I probably wouldn't have dated him, we started dating 3 days after we met, moved in together after knowing each other for 6 months (within that 6 months I was got for 3), we were so infatuated. I will never make that mistake again. It is so important to really get to know the other person and really spend time with them before jumping into such a big commitment. So now I just need to find a best friend, who is male, attractive, and attracted to me. This seems like a difficult task. In just a couple more days I can finally put the past 3.5 years completely behind me and get a fresh start. I have faith that things will work out smoothly in this upcoming decade!
2010
2010 has got to be a better, different and more adventurous year than 2009.
Moving into a new place.
No more school.
Big possibility of finally being able to quite my current job.
2 months in Hong Kong, plus some side vacations while I am there.
2009 was not all bad. I become close friends with a hand full of amazing people. Finally left my no-future ex-boyfriend.
My biggest concern right now is that my close friend forgives me for last weekend...I am really hoping to enter the new decade in good terms with her. The strange thing about all of this is that I have been trying so hard to avoid something bad to happen, and when I finally felt close enough to her and began to let my guard down something like this happens. It was a complete accident and it could have been anyone. She resembles a lot like Kelsey to me and I really hope she can forgive me the way Kelsey has in the past. This whole incident has made me realize how much friendship is like a boy/girlfriend relationship. The strength of a relationship only gets stronger as the two people are willing to overlook and forgive each other. I have my fingers crossed right now!
Tomorrow night should be amazing.
Moving into a new place.
No more school.
Big possibility of finally being able to quite my current job.
2 months in Hong Kong, plus some side vacations while I am there.
2009 was not all bad. I become close friends with a hand full of amazing people. Finally left my no-future ex-boyfriend.
My biggest concern right now is that my close friend forgives me for last weekend...I am really hoping to enter the new decade in good terms with her. The strange thing about all of this is that I have been trying so hard to avoid something bad to happen, and when I finally felt close enough to her and began to let my guard down something like this happens. It was a complete accident and it could have been anyone. She resembles a lot like Kelsey to me and I really hope she can forgive me the way Kelsey has in the past. This whole incident has made me realize how much friendship is like a boy/girlfriend relationship. The strength of a relationship only gets stronger as the two people are willing to overlook and forgive each other. I have my fingers crossed right now!
Tomorrow night should be amazing.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Maybe it's just because it's the holidays
Or maybe it's the fact that I am finally moving out of this place. The combination between finding out about his family's current situation and the packing of throwing away of all the things is finally effecting me emotionally. I am really hoping once I move out of here things will be different. I purchased my ticket to Hong Kong for early next year, hopefully it will be a nice long break away from everything after so many years. I just can't wait to stop feeling this way, I am really hoping that the combination of new years eve, completing the move and volunteering will do the trick. It's been 3 months now and it's time to move on. This "getting over" process is hard enough without missing the person, I can't imagine what he must be feeling...but that is no longer my problem. I need to realize that his problems no longer have anything to do with me and are not caused by me.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
oh By the way
Your mind can really convince itself when you tell it to, so be careful what you convince yourself. It backfired on me for sure, but at least it only effected me and not those around me.
Cophenhagen 2009
Climate change conference:
Never happened, not enough votes...but at least we are trying, and we will get there!
Why wasn't this on the news here? Like let's say Fox...
Never happened, not enough votes...but at least we are trying, and we will get there!
Why wasn't this on the news here? Like let's say Fox...
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Species extinct in the wild but exists in captivity
*the picture is a phylogenetic tree of "early" animals, memorizing that was not fun...*
To prevent inbreeding and loss of genetic variation, zoos around the world have to transport animals around the world to mate with each other. Inbreeding cause the frequency of a mutation to be expressed, thus the population's ability to remove deleterious alleles is reduced. We must be careful about maintaining the genetic diversity for species that are extinct in the wild, hoping to be able to release them back in the wild at some point. Fragmentation of land has created so many small populations, therefore making it easier for them to die out. Diversity on the genetic and species level are both important.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Huntington Beach Wetland Conservancy
Now that school is over, the volunteering and job hunting process begins. I chose Huntington Beach Wetland Conservancy, a non-profit organization that restores and conserves 118-acres of wetlands. Degradation of coastal wetlands from property development have fragmented and destroyed the wetlands to the point where constant maintenance and restoration is required in order keep a healthy ecosystem for the birds and marine organisms.
I am hoping to get more hands on experience with working with native coastal vegetation.
www.hbwc.org
Since conservation organizations are not well funded by the government, these internships will be unpaid, hopefully it will turn into a paid position eventually.
For those who would like to help, donations are always welcome to these non-profit organizations. (Friends of Colorado Lagoon, Los Cerritos Wetlands Stewart, Bolsa Chica Conservancy)
There are also lots of volunteer opportunities on Saturdays for trash clean-up, look on their websites for that information. Colorado Lagoon has trash clean-up every Monday morning at 9:00am, see you this Monday!!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Answers
> Dr. Carter,
> I had an idea today and I wanted to know you opinion on it, if it's "right".
>
> The reason that the Homo sapien specie has been so successful and evolved so
> efficiently is because there is not much evolutionary constraint against
> group selection. Group selection increases the fitness of the group as a
> whole.
Humans are a very unusual species in that we can work out agreements
and cooperatively work together in ways that allow some groups to
succeed over others. By having complex communication we have been able
to have individuals specialize in certain tasks, something that other
organisms rarely have and do allow groups with these individuals to
have higher (or lower) fitness.
I think the bigger trait that humans have that assist group style
selection is that ordinarily individual selection works against group
selection, but if the species has memories and social rules that
prevent selfishness then the sabotage effects of individual selection
can be minimized - humans do this better than any other species
> I also had another question. Can selfishness (opposite of altruism) be
> considered an evolutionary constraint? (individual selection > group
> selection)
Yes, I would consider this a constraint. Relating to your first point
above the relaxation of his constraint may be part of the success of
humans for the reasons I listed above.
> How does plastic surgery effect natural selection? The trait(s) is/are not
> inherited, so what could it to the population over time?
There are two ways to think about this.
(1) The trait is not genetically inherited, but there are some people
that believe that you can study the inheritance and evolution of
social behaviors, the inherited traits are called "memes" and Dawkins
is the highest profile person associated with this idea. This would be
similar to the evolution of other epigenetic traits.
(2) There would be genetic selection for people who survive the
operations better, genes that caused allergies to anesthesia or
increased the chances of complications during surgery would be
selected against - the population would evolve to be better able to
handle medical operations.
What I wrote is just my "off the top of my head" thinking and if you
do a literature search you are likely to find that some
anthropologists has written about these things in detail, although you
have to be careful about the logic of some social science arguments.
> I would highly appreciated if you could give me your thought. I have been
> trying to figure out all semester but just don't know enough to figure it
> out.
>
> Thank you,
> Jocelyn
> I had an idea today and I wanted to know you opinion on it, if it's "right".
>
> The reason that the Homo sapien specie has been so successful and evolved so
> efficiently is because there is not much evolutionary constraint against
> group selection. Group selection increases the fitness of the group as a
> whole.
Humans are a very unusual species in that we can work out agreements
and cooperatively work together in ways that allow some groups to
succeed over others. By having complex communication we have been able
to have individuals specialize in certain tasks, something that other
organisms rarely have and do allow groups with these individuals to
have higher (or lower) fitness.
I think the bigger trait that humans have that assist group style
selection is that ordinarily individual selection works against group
selection, but if the species has memories and social rules that
prevent selfishness then the sabotage effects of individual selection
can be minimized - humans do this better than any other species
> I also had another question. Can selfishness (opposite of altruism) be
> considered an evolutionary constraint? (individual selection > group
> selection)
Yes, I would consider this a constraint. Relating to your first point
above the relaxation of his constraint may be part of the success of
humans for the reasons I listed above.
> How does plastic surgery effect natural selection? The trait(s) is/are not
> inherited, so what could it to the population over time?
There are two ways to think about this.
(1) The trait is not genetically inherited, but there are some people
that believe that you can study the inheritance and evolution of
social behaviors, the inherited traits are called "memes" and Dawkins
is the highest profile person associated with this idea. This would be
similar to the evolution of other epigenetic traits.
(2) There would be genetic selection for people who survive the
operations better, genes that caused allergies to anesthesia or
increased the chances of complications during surgery would be
selected against - the population would evolve to be better able to
handle medical operations.
What I wrote is just my "off the top of my head" thinking and if you
do a literature search you are likely to find that some
anthropologists has written about these things in detail, although you
have to be careful about the logic of some social science arguments.
> I would highly appreciated if you could give me your thought. I have been
> trying to figure out all semester but just don't know enough to figure it
> out.
>
> Thank you,
> Jocelyn
Just one last thing
It's so close I can taste it! One more final, the hardest final but I can do it!!
Next chapter of life begins in...11 hours!
Ending this chapter of my life...I learned:
Take advantage of education and knowledge
Don't waste time with someone or something that doesn't make you happy, there's always something better nearby.
Next chapter of life begins in...11 hours!
Ending this chapter of my life...I learned:
Take advantage of education and knowledge
Don't waste time with someone or something that doesn't make you happy, there's always something better nearby.
FINALS
Dr. Carter,
I had an idea today and I wanted to know you opinion on it, if it's "right".
The reason that the Homo sapien specie has been so successful and evolved so efficiently is because there is not much evolutionary constraint against group selection. Group selection increases the fitness of the group as a whole.
I also had another question. Can selfishness (opposite of altruism) be considered an evolutionary constraint? (individual selection > group selection)
How does plastic surgery effect natural selection? The trait(s) is/are not inherited, so what could it to the population over time?
I would highly appreciated if you could give me your thought. I have been trying to figure out all semester but just don't know enough to figure it out.
Thank you,
Jocelyn
I had an idea today and I wanted to know you opinion on it, if it's "right".
The reason that the Homo sapien specie has been so successful and evolved so efficiently is because there is not much evolutionary constraint against group selection. Group selection increases the fitness of the group as a whole.
I also had another question. Can selfishness (opposite of altruism) be considered an evolutionary constraint? (individual selection > group selection)
How does plastic surgery effect natural selection? The trait(s) is/are not inherited, so what could it to the population over time?
I would highly appreciated if you could give me your thought. I have been trying to figure out all semester but just don't know enough to figure it out.
Thank you,
Jocelyn
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
As I study for Evo Bio Exam...
Natural Selection:
At group level selection, that is how sex was evolved. (Sex evolved because it increased the overall fitness of the group)
Advantage to evolution of sex is to the POPULATION
Why? Increase variation in offspring, speeds the rate of evolution, and allows the removal of deleterious alleles (removes bad genes).
Disadvantage happens at an individual level.
Why? Because hard to find mate and two fold cost of mating.
Interesting....
At group level selection, that is how sex was evolved. (Sex evolved because it increased the overall fitness of the group)
Advantage to evolution of sex is to the POPULATION
Why? Increase variation in offspring, speeds the rate of evolution, and allows the removal of deleterious alleles (removes bad genes).
Disadvantage happens at an individual level.
Why? Because hard to find mate and two fold cost of mating.
Interesting....
Monday, December 14, 2009
The JOCELYN system
Not quite as clever as the producers of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (D.E.N.N.I.S. system) so it doesn't actually stand for anything, but it's still somewhat of a method.
Extremely straight forward:
1. If you like someone, be obvious, don't have to tell them but actions speak much louder than words.
2. If their response is positive if should be obvious so then go for it. If negative, forget about it and move on.
That is the way to do it.
Oh, and don't "lead" someone on if you know they like you but you don't like them. It just makes it more painful for them and then you're just taking advantage of them. I don't wanna hear the whole, "I'm too nice" or "I didn't know he/she liked me" excuses. If you want to stay friends with them, make it clear, otherwise you have to cut it off and not lead them on.
Just because I like you, it doesn't mean I want a relationship with you.
And another thing, friendship goes before infatuation
These are the rules I am going by right now, we'll see how it goes.
So far it feels like...the list of things of what I don't want in a guy just gets bigger and bigger. That may be bad news, reducing my pool options in size very quickly.
Hehe! Oh well, I am having a great time, isn't that all that matters?!
Extremely straight forward:
1. If you like someone, be obvious, don't have to tell them but actions speak much louder than words.
2. If their response is positive if should be obvious so then go for it. If negative, forget about it and move on.
That is the way to do it.
Oh, and don't "lead" someone on if you know they like you but you don't like them. It just makes it more painful for them and then you're just taking advantage of them. I don't wanna hear the whole, "I'm too nice" or "I didn't know he/she liked me" excuses. If you want to stay friends with them, make it clear, otherwise you have to cut it off and not lead them on.
Just because I like you, it doesn't mean I want a relationship with you.
And another thing, friendship goes before infatuation
These are the rules I am going by right now, we'll see how it goes.
So far it feels like...the list of things of what I don't want in a guy just gets bigger and bigger. That may be bad news, reducing my pool options in size very quickly.
Hehe! Oh well, I am having a great time, isn't that all that matters?!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Taking on the world
Life is extremely overwhelming right now, especially with finals. Last semester in college, last week of finals...bring it on!!!!
I am going to take on the world, this last week of finals is a test for me and I will do great!!
*determined*
I am going to take on the world, this last week of finals is a test for me and I will do great!!
*determined*
Nellyphishing for Readers
Nellyphish,
This blog is for you! I don't think anyone else reads it!! Oh well, still love it!
This blog is for you! I don't think anyone else reads it!! Oh well, still love it!
Always want what you can't have, explained briefly by evolution
As a specie that is constantly advancing (technology, way of life, everything), we have evolved to enjoy challenges. Without wanting to overcome these challenges we would have never been able to evolve into the intelligent specie that we are today. Evolution makes us pursue more and better things at all times, without it we may not have been able to become such an intelligent and complex specie.
Right now I feel that this evolutionary trait of our personalities is putting me at a disadvantage, thus making me overlook the good and available things in my life and making me want to pursue something (someone) that isn't what I "should want" (but it is what I want since I can't have it). What a dilemma!!
Such a complicated concept, I hope that is all making sense!
Right now I feel that this evolutionary trait of our personalities is putting me at a disadvantage, thus making me overlook the good and available things in my life and making me want to pursue something (someone) that isn't what I "should want" (but it is what I want since I can't have it). What a dilemma!!
Such a complicated concept, I hope that is all making sense!
Even I didn't know
I didn't understand the extent of how much I despise him until now. I got a text the other day that made me a bit upset just because he is still trying to get a reaction from me after 5 weeks now. Deleted it right away of course, bitched about it for a little bit too. The next day after that I took a nap and had a horrible nightmare about him. In my dream, it was present day, and I started dating him again, things were awful and I was really unhappy but for some reason in my dream I was still dating him, knowing I was unhappy. I woke up and I was so upset that my nap was ruined and not relaxing. I am just so over it and I hope I don't run into him or hear from him again. What makes you think a girl would want to be with someone that not only has nothing to offer to her but also discourages her from pursuing her career and her passion.
Moving on to better things in life and totally happy right now. Just leave me the f*k alone already.
Moving on to better things in life and totally happy right now. Just leave me the f*k alone already.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Just Read it!!
We love the chase but we hate the games.
Reading between the lines too much will get you in trouble...it tends to lead to selective thinking.
In the end we just want to find someone, but let's not get carried away and forget how much fun the process is.
As an aggressive individual in pursuing what I want I find it difficult to play "hard-to-get". In every other aspect of life, being proactive has always been the way get things my way. This is highly conflicting with "you want what you can't have", if I act readily available to someone then would that make them not want it? Maybe it just depends on the situation. I don't want to play mind games, I just want to be able to act on my feelings...isn't that what guys do? Would that make me less desirable to someone if I am obvious about my feeling towards them? I would much rather just get rejected right away than waste time and get rejected later. In conclusion, I feel like it's much less complicated to act like a guy, say and act what's on your mind and stop trying to reading between the lines and predict what the other person is thinking. If they want it too, they'll act upon it, don't lose your head over it!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
College
One more week of college left! Sad, happy and scared all at the same time. Hoping the "economy" will give me a "job" (whatever that means). Mostly importantly is that the learning continues. I am completely addicted to knowledge and I cannot get enough of it, I just wish it didn't cost so much, I guess self-study is an option, but there's no certificate that is recognizable from that...that sucks.
Just one last paper left on emergency diesel generator pollutions. Wish me luck on finals. ^_^
stressed out, but sooooo happy with the way my life is going! *thankful*
Just one last paper left on emergency diesel generator pollutions. Wish me luck on finals. ^_^
stressed out, but sooooo happy with the way my life is going! *thankful*
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Solar Cooker
Cooking "box" that captures solar energy and heats up and can be hot even to cook food in. It is very efficient and convenient especially for those who live in areas without electricity (India, developing and 3rd world countries).
Four components:
1. inner box: fully sealed aluminum
2. outer box: wood
3. lid
4. reflectors: captures solar energy
reduce dependency on natural gas
reduce pollution and deforestation
Further improvements will be needed in order to make it even more efficient and easy to use.
Four components:
1. inner box: fully sealed aluminum
2. outer box: wood
3. lid
4. reflectors: captures solar energy
reduce dependency on natural gas
reduce pollution and deforestation
Further improvements will be needed in order to make it even more efficient and easy to use.
Eating locally
Why?
Reduce carbon footprint because food travels a lot more than we know
organic foods will reduce carbon emissions and replenish soil nutrients
energy in packaging is less when grown locally due to reduce amount of packaging
food is 25% of our carbon footprint
Local food trading can significantly reduce carbon emission
- cheap way to eat healthy, and locally
CSA community supported agriculture
Farmers Markets: may not be actually locally grown or organic, must be careful
Free range: animals are allowed to roam freely, and therefore produce healthier meat and eggs
Must do research on companies which we buy from because even if they say it's "green" it may just be a marketing scheme.
Reduce carbon footprint because food travels a lot more than we know
organic foods will reduce carbon emissions and replenish soil nutrients
energy in packaging is less when grown locally due to reduce amount of packaging
food is 25% of our carbon footprint
Local food trading can significantly reduce carbon emission
- cheap way to eat healthy, and locally
CSA community supported agriculture
Farmers Markets: may not be actually locally grown or organic, must be careful
Free range: animals are allowed to roam freely, and therefore produce healthier meat and eggs
Must do research on companies which we buy from because even if they say it's "green" it may just be a marketing scheme.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Today is not good so far
1. Rain, therefore missed volunteering and ENGR class
2. Toilet overflowed, couldn't take a shower this morning
3. Fell at school as I was walking because I slipped.
4. Just found out that I had another paper due on Wednesday, making it 6 papers to do this week before finals
I am going home as soon as class is over, I don't think it's save to be out today!! Must hide from the rain!
2. Toilet overflowed, couldn't take a shower this morning
3. Fell at school as I was walking because I slipped.
4. Just found out that I had another paper due on Wednesday, making it 6 papers to do this week before finals
I am going home as soon as class is over, I don't think it's save to be out today!! Must hide from the rain!
Where did all this rain come from?
It's raining so hard right now in SoCal, it's only December, where is all the rain coming from?? I can't even imagine all the trash that is being washed into Colorado Lagoon, next Monday trash clean-up is going to be so intense. This is a strange pattern of weather...I don't know if I have seen it rain this hard ever before here in December, oh well, it's probably just a strange year...right?? Maybe it's the beginning of climate change...who really knows, we can debate over it over and over again but no one will have the answer, only time can tell.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Restoring Native Vegetation and Improving Water Quality will Increase the Overall Ecosystem Function of the Colorado Lagoon
Later: Similarities between Monarchy and Capitalism
Who would have thought that my religious studies class was the one that taught me how to apply evolution in explaining why things are the way they are, and why humans act the way we do.
Symposium abstract:
Restoring Native Vegetation and Improving Water Quality will Increase the Overall Ecosystem Function of the Colorado Lagoon
The Colorado Lagoon is a coastal wetland utilized by birds, humans and marine organisms in southern California that is experiencing a great decrease in plant biodiversity and is also listed as an impaired water body under section 303 (d) of the Clean Water Act. Invasive species and human landscaping have taken over valuable space for native species. Poor water quality due to a five-mile radius watershed, eleven storm drains, and reduced tidal flushing from Alamitos Bay have led to strict regulations on eight different pollutants. Removal of invasive species and human landscape will create space for the seventy-two species of native plants that will be planted. The four habitat types of plants will be coastal sage scrub, coastal bluff, transition zone, and coastal salt marsh. Water quality will be improved by installing trash separation devices in the storm drains and removal of the culvert to create complete flushing into Alamitos Bay. Plant biodiversity will increase due to the improvement of water quality, while water quality will improve due to increased tidal flushing as well as water-filtering plants. The overall health of the ecosystem will increase from the improvement of water quality and increase in plant biodiversity, thus increasing the value of the lagoon to those who use it.
Who would have thought that my religious studies class was the one that taught me how to apply evolution in explaining why things are the way they are, and why humans act the way we do.
Symposium abstract:
Restoring Native Vegetation and Improving Water Quality will Increase the Overall Ecosystem Function of the Colorado Lagoon
The Colorado Lagoon is a coastal wetland utilized by birds, humans and marine organisms in southern California that is experiencing a great decrease in plant biodiversity and is also listed as an impaired water body under section 303 (d) of the Clean Water Act. Invasive species and human landscaping have taken over valuable space for native species. Poor water quality due to a five-mile radius watershed, eleven storm drains, and reduced tidal flushing from Alamitos Bay have led to strict regulations on eight different pollutants. Removal of invasive species and human landscape will create space for the seventy-two species of native plants that will be planted. The four habitat types of plants will be coastal sage scrub, coastal bluff, transition zone, and coastal salt marsh. Water quality will be improved by installing trash separation devices in the storm drains and removal of the culvert to create complete flushing into Alamitos Bay. Plant biodiversity will increase due to the improvement of water quality, while water quality will improve due to increased tidal flushing as well as water-filtering plants. The overall health of the ecosystem will increase from the improvement of water quality and increase in plant biodiversity, thus increasing the value of the lagoon to those who use it.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I must admit
I must admit that I am a bit sad that things had to end this way. I am sad that we can't be friends, and I am sad that I made you feel bad. But I am not sad that we are not together. I miss the old times we had that were good, but things that made me happy back then, just don't make me feel happy anymore. In a month, everything that has anything to do with you will be over for me, the apartment, school, and work (soon after a month). I must admit that I am really nervous...sorry I couldn't take you on this journey with me but trust me when I say, I am not what you want anyway.
I am happy to hear that you are doing better.
I am happy to hear that you are doing better.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
My Ideal Way of Life
If I could choose the way I want life to be, things would be very different. I want to live a life where I never feel like I am out of time. I want to be able to have time to enjoy all the things around me. I don't want to have to be working to support myself...why should I have to spend all my time working. If all my time is spent working, then when am I actually LIVING. Living being defined here as: being able to do anything I want whenever I want, and not be restricted by a job or money. I want to live in a world with no cities. I want to live WITH nature, coexist with nature, and not deteriorate and consume nature. I don't need the stock market, no over-priced luxury items, I just need time, nature, knowledge, and love. The things I want are free (maybe not knowledge), but why are they so hard to get, therefore making it expensive. "Free things are the most expensive things in the world", that sentence actually makes sense in this situation.
Hating Him
Got my ipod back, the headphone jack is a bit broken...so break my ipod and give it back when it barely works. Thanks.
His perception of love was wrong...possessive. Jealousy consumed all his emotions. This is not just to other people, but it was everything (school, career, family, traveling, recreation...) His way to keep me around was through manipulation and put downs, "you will never find anyone that will love you as much as I do", "your family doesn't care about you, if they did, they wouldn't have left you here", and my all time favorite, "I stayed in CA even thought my family really needs me just to be here with you". I just wish I didn't put up with it for so long. Although I would have liked to avoided the event in the end, but it was the last straw, and it gave me strength to leave him (in a way I am a bit thankful for it). It's been almost four weeks since last point of any contact, where is he? Still here, just as I predicted. According to his friend, they convinced him to stay. So why is he still here. (this is my side of the story)
So glad to be single right now, will stay this way for a long while...it's bad to jump back into a relationship right away. Need to have 100% focus on my life and what I want right now. Need to explore and meet different types of people to see who I would be compatible with. Love is really just a fancy word for coexistence, who can you coexist with for the rest of your life and still able to be happy.
His perception of love was wrong...possessive. Jealousy consumed all his emotions. This is not just to other people, but it was everything (school, career, family, traveling, recreation...) His way to keep me around was through manipulation and put downs, "you will never find anyone that will love you as much as I do", "your family doesn't care about you, if they did, they wouldn't have left you here", and my all time favorite, "I stayed in CA even thought my family really needs me just to be here with you". I just wish I didn't put up with it for so long. Although I would have liked to avoided the event in the end, but it was the last straw, and it gave me strength to leave him (in a way I am a bit thankful for it). It's been almost four weeks since last point of any contact, where is he? Still here, just as I predicted. According to his friend, they convinced him to stay. So why is he still here. (this is my side of the story)
So glad to be single right now, will stay this way for a long while...it's bad to jump back into a relationship right away. Need to have 100% focus on my life and what I want right now. Need to explore and meet different types of people to see who I would be compatible with. Love is really just a fancy word for coexistence, who can you coexist with for the rest of your life and still able to be happy.
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